Top 5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Coming Out

To celebrate national coming out day, I am going to be giving you young gays out there some tips that I wish I had before I came out.


1. Make Sure it is Safe First

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It is always important to make sure that it is safe for you to come out before you do. If you are surrounded by bigots, you may have to wait until you are out of that situation to show your true colors. A good way to gauge the reaction your family might have is by dropping hints. If you get pushed back early on, you need to proceed with caution. Even if your family seems like they will be accepting, it can always be good to wear protective gear like a helmet. In order to make it more nonchalant, you may want to schedule your coming out after a bike ride.

2. Make a Scene

The ultimate Twitter watch party

This is your big day. Feel free to go wild and make a scene. Remember that the bigger you make your coming out, the more likely it is to go viral. With virility in mind, I suggest planning your coming out in a public park or restaurant. This will ensure that all eyes will be on you when you start singing your coming out song. If you’re lucky, someone might catch it on tape making you a viral social media hit. If you don’t want to rely on luck, I suggest you have a friend nearby to capture it on “candid” camera. Just make sure you don’t look at the camera too much, it won’t feel as real.

3. Get Pictures for Instagram

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After you have done your song and dance number, make sure to get a picture to capture the moment. Make sure to tag and filter your photo to make sure people can see it. If you come out and don’t post about it on Insta, did you really come out? No, so make sure you snap that photo. If things don’t go as planned you can always take a photo of you in the bathroom, so you can scavenge some pity likes. That is how you make the best out of a bad coming out.

4. Do it Early, Do it Often

Remember that every new social group is an opportunity to throw a coming out party. Whether it be at your synagogue, local youth center, our soup kitchen. Just because you are already openly gay, does not mean that you can’t come out again from time to time. If Hollywood can re-release movies every year, you should be able to come out more than once too. If you are unsure about your sexuality, come out anyway, you can always throw a going back party down the road.

5. Don’t Steal the Spotlight

Two Black Trans Women Were Killed in the Past Week | Time

If you are in a gay community, proper coming out party scheduling is everything. You want to make sure that everyone has a chance to be the queen of the ball. If there is ever a scheduling conflict where people want to come out on the same day, you need to remember to keep it equitable. Whoever is the most intersectionality oppressed gets to go first. For example, a black trans women would get priority over a cis white gay man. Stay tuned for a chart that lets your graph your oppression level.

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