All These Disney Rides Need a Rework or a Tear Down

We are all overjoyed at the closing of the deeply racist Splash Mountain. However, it is hard to find a Disney ride that does not need major reworking to peacefully coexist in this progressive world.


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Stove and fan, Carousel of Progress, Walt Disney World, Or… | Flickr

It humanizes and normalizes the racist culture of the average white family. Also, when you consider Walt’s racist ideology, the word progress sounds more problematic. Perhaps, it can be rebranded to celebrate real progress like the progress that BLM has made.

Country Bear Jamboree

Country Bear Jamboree | The greatest show on Earth. Possibly… | Flickr

This ride oozes Southern pride. In 2020, this sort of Southern propaganda just feels gross. In order to be more transparent, they should give one of the bears a Confederate flag, hood, and beer gut, so kids can know what the South really looks like.

Gran Fiesta Tour

The Gran Fiesta Tour starring the Three Caballeros at the … | Flickr

You can not get a more blatantly racist ride than this. Furthermore, this racist Mexican stereotype has almost no redeemable qualities. This one is not a rework, it is a tear down.

The Hall of Presidents

The Hall of Presidents | Loren Javier | Flickr

When we have a President like Trump, it can be hard to want a ride celebrating the idea of the Presidency. However, Trump is not the first racist President. The fact is, most Presidents in history have been racist. As a result, Disney does not need a ride to honor Presidents. Tear it down, just like a racist statue.

The Magic Carpets of Aladdin

The Magic Carpets of Aladdin Magic Kingdom Walt Disney Wor… | Flickr

Not only does the movie Aladdin glorify toxic relationships, but it also presents a deeply bigoted view of the Middle East. Plus, the new movie sucked.

Astro Orbiter

Astro Orbiter | Astro Orbiter on a very gray morning at the … | Flickr

We have already ruined this planet, do we need to do this on other planets too? Noted futurist and astrophile Walt Disney, dreamed of colonizing and ruining every planet in the galaxy. All with the help of literal Nazi Von Braun. This ride needs to be removed, so we can de-incentivise space colonialism. 

Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room

Tiki Room Birds | Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room in Adven… | Flickr

Tiki bars are inherently problematic. This attraction is a textbook example of cultural appropriation. This thing should be torn down just because of the concept. However it gets worse, the accent that the Tiki heads use is a racial caricature, and just feels so outdated. A more authentic view of island life, such as rethemeing it to Moana, may be the only way to save this attraction from the chopping block.

It’s Tough to be a Bug!

Hopper at It's Tough To Be A Bug | Loren Javier | Flickr

I do not like it. 

Under The Sea

amusement park park toy disney ariel screenshot little mermaid magic kingdom disney world

This ride is still using the outdated 1980s version of the movie and not the progressive 2021 version. Ariel is black, If this ride wants to be around in 10 years, they are going to need to update it to reflect that.

Walt Disney World Railroad

File:Walt Disney World Railroad train.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

Walt was known to have a deep love for all things railroad. This included the unfair and dangerous work conditions that the mostly immigrant railroad workers faced. When Walt makes a railroad ride he is celebrating the horrific history of the US railroads. However, this ride does not need to be torn down. Riders can be given pamphlets that explain the trials the POCs had to go through to build the railroads. This can turn a frightening historical reality, into a teaching moment for kids. 

Dumbo the Flying Elephant

File:HK Disneyland 小飛象 Dumbo the Flying Elephant Oct-2013 ...

Like many classic Disney IPs, Dumbo is very racist. The elephant movie is so racist, that on Disney plus they were forced to put a disclaimer about the racist stereotypes. This shows that Disney is well aware of how problematic this franchise is, yet they still keep it around. If Disney wants to keep this light hearted flying elephant ride, they need to find a way to offset their racist footprint. Donating part of the parks proceeds to BLM or other black organizations is a start. Discounting POC tickets would also be a great way to offset their racist footprint.

Frozen Ever After

Frozen Ever After | Joel | Flickr

This ride suffers from the same issue as the movie, a lack of POC representation. How hard is it for Disney to add a couple of black snowmen. What is irating, is how easy it would be for Disney to fix the diversity problem that many of their rides and movies face. Kids of all colors watch Disney, and their merchandise and theming need to start reflecting that. I want to suggest that white washed rides like this get rethemed with more POC focused IPs, but there just aren’t very many of those

Spaceship Earth

Spaceship Earth | Loren Javier | Flickr

For a ride about space flight, it fails to mention the involvement of POC women in the history of space. A focus on these ‘Hidden Figures’ of space history, could give the ride a much needed 2020 face lift. As it stands now, this ride is just a crappy white ball.

Jungle Cruise

Jingle Cruise, Jungle Cruise 15, Disneyland, Anaheim, Oran… | Flickr

This ride has been on the chopping block for some time now. It’s representation of affrican americans as savage, is not acceptable. Many native peoples have protested the ride and called for it’s removal. With the new movie coming in 2021, there will be a spotlight on this problematic ride. If you want it shut down, you can sign this petition

Seven Dwarfs Mine Train

File:Seven Dwarfs Mine Train (14004242576).jpg - Wikimedia Commons

The story of Snow White is based on a German fairytale. We are all familiar with the Snow White story. However, people rarely think about how problematic the role of the prince is. It is a story that glorifies sexual assault, and in 2020, that is not ok. Subsequently, the ride based on the snow white story is guilty by association. Especially when you consider the demeaning depiction of the little people, this ride needs a reboot.

It’s A Small World

African dancers in the Africa scene of It's A Small World | Flickr

These wooden figures are literally white washed. Most of the children are white. Despite being a ride built to show the glories of multiculturalism, this ride does a piss poor job of displaying other races respectfully. The few people of color represented are shown with exaggerated features, and distorted faces. Did I mention that everyone on the ride is also speaking english. This has the chance to be Disney’s most inclusive ride, but it is in need of a major revamp. While they are fixing the white washing, they should also try to make the animatronics less creepy.

Peter Pan’s Flight

Indian Village on Peter Pan's Flight | Loren Javier | Flickr

This ride contains some of the most disgusting depictions of native Americans, save for the wooden statues outside of conveniences stores. Peter Pan racist, this ride is racist, and until they update one or both of them, Disney should be boycotted. 

Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster

Disney's Hollywood Studios | Rock 'n' Roller Coaster plaza | Flickr

Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll is not appropriate for kids. Disney needs to stop promoting drug use. Plus Aerosmith is racist. Instead they need to celebrate the black artist and musicians who made rock music what it is today. 

Pirates of the Caribbean

File:Pirates of the Caribbean Parrot.jpg - Wikipedia

It shows a POCs looting (which they don’t). At the moment it also has a severe lack of female pirates. Hopefully, Disney will be able to update it to include better female representation, much like they did with the films. Honestly, if there is a Margot Robbie cameo in the updated ride, everything will be ok.

Haunted Mansion

File:Haunted Mansion Exterior.JPG - Wikimedia Commons

Despite the movie The Haunted Mansion having a black lead, the ride has still not caught up on the diversity quota. There are no black ghosts, and that is a serious problem. Eddie Murphy should be appalled that this movie ride is so white washed. 

Expedition Everest

Expedition Everest Track | Train track torn up by the Yeti -… | Flickr

Not only does the ride portray asian culture as uncivilized, dirty, prone to undercook meat, but it also fuels the environment destroying Everest industry. In the days of the sherpa, there was an ethical dilemma about only white people being awarded for climbing Everest. Now, people of all races can climb the mountain, but given the overcrowding, they can’t do it sustainably. The fact is, it has always been problematic to climb Eversest, so a ride idolizing the stunt is a yikes. This is all before you consider how disrespectful the mass marketing of the Yeti is.

Philharmagic

Angry Donald | An angry Donald Duck as seen at the exit to M… | Flickr

This attraction heavily features known Nazi Donald Duck. That’s right, Donald Duck has literally been seen in a full Nazi uniform. It is surprising that the alt right have not latched on to this little goose stepper more. However, any rides that feature the duck need immediate attention. 

Buzz Lightyear

paris food toy parade toys disneyland theme disneyland paris buzz lightyear toy story disney parade

Buzz Lightyear, as a character, is incredibly problematic. There is literally a scene in the movie where he puts on a brown face, by imitating a latino machismo stereotype. Beyond that, a ride that is just glorified target practice is not appropriate for kids. In terms of normalizing gun violence, this ride is equivalent to the pink gun. They should retheme this ride to one of the many strong female characters of the Toy Story universe and remove the shooting element.

Mission Space

Mission: SPACE | A look at Mission: SPACE from 2003. | Steven ...

Space is sexist, Unless your space media is directly challenging the systemic sexism in the space industry, you should not have it. This ride needs a fem-positive overhaul, otherwise they are normalizing the rape of our solar system

DINOSAUR

Dinosaur Sculpture Dinosaur Ride Animal Kingdom | Michael Gray ...

It is not surprising that this ride is a flop, given it’s source material. Like a lot of dinosaur media, this ride needs a serious redesign that more accurately depicts dinosaurs. It may take more time to add all the feathers. but if you are going to exploit the popularity of extinct species, you should be scientifically accurate.

Swiss Family Treehouse

Rope Bridge in Swiss Family Robinson Tree House Magic King… | Flickr

This iron monstrosity displays the peak of euro-centralism, as well as the industrialization of nature. It is a gross excuse for a nature based attraction. To make matters worse, it is ableist. This is one of the few attractions that is completely inaccessible for non-ambulatory folks. They need to address this glaring handicap accessibility oversight, and make the attraction more doable by people of size.

Figment

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is 284150385_cfb1337831_o.jpg

As a person with a dragon soul, I am very attached to the character Figment. I think this ride is amazing, and might be the only good ride at Disney. However, if I am being honest, it still needs a rework. Disney could update the over 20 year old ride, and make the JLGBTQ themes more overt, instead of hiding them in the closet.

This article would not be possible without the contributions of my good friend William. Please check out his Twitter, Click Here.


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