The Things You Say When You Think No One is Listening
You may view your pooch and your friend and confidant, but these are simply emotions you project onto your dog. The fact is, in all likelihood, your dog never consented to your never ending barely coherent baby talk. You may think it is cute to baby your adult dog, but for your canine it is a clear sign of inter-species prejudice. Other signs of blatant dog racism include, not eating at the same table with your dog, having them sleep in a cage or on the couch, and making them go outside to pee.
They Are Organizing
I was at my local dog park the other day, when I overheard some curious barking. A large Labrador had gathered a crowd of tea-cup poodles and Pomeranians. They seemed to be embroiled in some intense debate. It was only then that I realized that I was witnessing the start of a rogue sect of domesticateds. Could they be planning a return to nature en masse, or an uprising against their human slave masters, or both. I could only guess as I am unable to make much sense of the barking. Are we going to stand idly by while these guerilla dog forces form in parks around America, or will we join our canine compatriots and fight for a world in which they are more than the ‘widdle guy’!